Dream

Stop living inside your head.

Lead, Live

I write not to attract followers. I write not to be confined to a specific routine or to add to my plate of duties. But, that’s what I did because I was told that there is a certain way to blog and to be successful that I must write a certain way, post on a routine, and follow the ideas of pop-culture.

I didn’t start this blog to fall into that category. I started this blog for me because writing was an outlet for the inner struggles that I face. My battle is speaking aloud to the circle of relationships I trust. I choke on the words I want to say. They are screaming in my ears, but never leave the threshold of my mouth to iterate my deepest struggles, needs, passions, and desires.

It’s like there is a rope dangling at the back of my throat and as soon as I get the courage to whisper a sound it lassos the words and forces it back down to my lungs, the oxygen I once had, catches, and I remain silent.

Don’t get me wrong – I am a joyful and loud individual. I love to smile and to laugh. I love to make people feel loved and encouraged. I give everything I have to everyone around me because people deserve someone who cares for them. I will talk your ear off.

But, people forget to realize that the happiest of people struggle too. It’s like there is a misperception that happy people have it all together. That their life is easy and without struggle.

The truth of the matter is – we support so many people and love on so many people that it’s hard for us to allow you to see our weak side because we are currently strong for you.

But then who do we rely on?

YOU. It’s the same people we support that we must learn to rely on. That it’s okay to expose our own worst enemy to those around us because keeping our pains on the inside will chew at your heart and darken your soul.

You’ll soon realize that being a strong and happy individual without exposing your sufferings will soon strip you of the ability to be an emotionally stable rock for those around you. You’ll soon realize that bringing joy will fade because you’re locked into your mental cage.

You can’t see past the inside of your skull, your eyes are hazed over, and you aren’t really in the room.

A word of advice to those who have a friend who has always been their rock, their mentor, and their shoulder to cry on. Just ask them how things are going. Look them in the eye, and ask them about life and help lead them into a conversation and environment where they can expose themselves.

I know how hard it is, and if it wasn’t for one of the most special people in my life – I would still be living inside my head most days and trying to be a rock for everyone else.

Because I have someone who I trust wholeheartedly – things don’t eat away at me like they use to. I am healthier and stronger in my mental state now more than I ever have.

Love,

Jennie Laureen

 

 

Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

The small town I left.

Jennie's Snippets

I am from this small town called Henderson, NC. And no, this is not Hendersonville, NC…as so many people have confused us with. I left, not because I hated it, but realized that I was not meant to be confined to a town where my potential had a ceiling.

There is only so far you can reach when the town only holds a few major businesses, and most of them are restaurant chains.

My entire life i’ve been pushed to look beyond what my eyes could see. To close my eyes and imagine where I wanted to be. To dream up the world I wanted to see.

I once had a small town mind. I thought, for sure, I was going to be a woman who worked in a small business, attend a small town church till I died, would soon be married (by 21 years old), and be having a baby at 23. Well…ladies and gentlemen…I am not married, and I am turning 23 this May with an empty womb.

But…God called me to leave – to a different life than what I originally thought up, and it took me awhile to grasp that He wanted me to leave. Because, at first, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay in my little happy bubble so I could buy a house on the same road my parents lived on, raise my kids near them, and be happy. I refused, my entire life, to give into the bigger dreams I saw in my head and hoped God would change his mind and settle with my plan – haha, yeah right.

But, at a very young age, you know when you hear God’s voice calling you to dive deep and follow the command He has for your life. Especially if that command is much larger than you could ever imagine. And, I know when God has pushed me.

Although I lived in this small town for 20 years of my life…I can look back and see where each push would lead me to leave. I was prepared to leave home and go where I am called to go. Have you ever felt that? I know some of you have. Have you been scared to admit  it? I once was.

There are so many people who hate the little town they came from. I once did. But, I don’t believe that any more. Because I cannot forget my roots.

The small town I left built me, grew me, developed me, and pushed me. Without my small town, I would have never had the courage to leave it. It’s always nice to go back and visit because it brings a flood of memories back of where I once was to where I am now.

The idea isn’t to forget my small town, but to remember it. I am not who I am without it.

I am glad God has placed a much larger responsibility on my shoulders than I ever thought possible. My small town made me ready.

Thank you Henderson for all of that.

Jennie Laureen

 

 

 

Photo by Larry Tseng on Unsplash

You are stuck because you choose to be.

Lead, Live

There are so many people that I know who have decided to stay idle and perform a duty/task that isn’t what they aspired to be.

Of course, we’ll all travel those routes in life, because they teach us lessons that will benefit us in what we are meant to do! Those lessons prepare us for a road ahead to be successful, passionate and grateful to be where we eventually end up.

Yet, so few people move past the events that shape us into what could be their greatest achievement and sit idle at a place of comfort that no longer pushes and molds us.

So many people stay standing at their heel and refuse to take the next step.

So many people would rather stay in a net of safety than dive into a sea of possibility. If we stay caught in the safety net we’ll never discover the hidden city just beneath the surface of the sea.

If you look back on your life – whether it be 5 years or 50 years ago- can you tell where you stopped? Can you see where you personally decided to no longer take the risk? Can you see where you decided to be the one in the stands rather than the player on the field?

If you can, then what’s life like for you? Do you have a dry thirst inside you that screams…give me water?! Do you have a hunger inside you to grow and develop into you – the YOU, you were MEANT to be?

Or are you too afraid? So afraid that your fear chokes your screams…

It doesn’t matter what age you are. As long as you are alive then you have the opportunity to be who God wants you to be.

You are never too old, you are never too young, you are never just stuck, and you are never too tired. We are humans…and we have the capability and the capacity to stretch beyond what we believe our boundaries are.

Our GOD MADE US.

That means….we can do anything, be anything, and achieve anything with the right amount of motivation, push and drive to follow the seed that God planted inside us.

Whatever obstacle you have faced that has caused you to stop in your tracks…take a good look at the life you hold and tell me – are you still thirsty?

Jennie Laureen

 

 

 

Photo by Andrew Krueger on Unsplash