Married

In Marriage – Don’t Build a Fence Over the Small Things.

Love

Being married is one of the best things I have ever committed to. It’s also one of the hardest things I have ever committed to, and I truly mean that.

I dated my handsome hubby for 9 years before we tied the knot. We had so many necessary conversations to prepare us for marriage like: setting boundaries, financial discussions, raising-a-family, etc.

We were ready (and all those talks paid off, phew)! But, there was one thing no married couple could truly explain to us until we experienced it ourselves.

Loving someone so much, but also being so irritated at them all at the same time.

I love my husband, and I will love him until I take my last breath.

I will fight for my husband, and do my best to honor him in all the ways that I can.

I am fiercely committed to our relationship!

But.

But.

But.

I was not prepared for the internal fences I would easily put up after 6 to 7 months of marriage.

You see…he has a really bad habit of leaving his hats around the house. (And I have a super bad habit about leaving my cups around the house – ever since I was a kid – so I am no saint).

Exhibit A.

Some days, when I get home after a long day of work and I see a hat lying randomly in the living room, I come undone (it’s okay to call me insane).

Sometimes I have to take a breather because I will let that one little thing eat at me. Then, when I see my husband, I let that irritation build into a pile of frustration because I point out other things: the dishes in the sink, the clothes on the bedroom floor, or the blankets that aren’t folded.

I would get so worked up. In my head i’m like “I can’t believe that he can’t just pick up his hats – I mean…they are hats….just put them away!

But.

But.

But.

After some much needed self-reflection, I realized that I really am being ridiculous. Why am I forgetting all the beautiful and wonderful things about my husband that make him who he is over some hats – HATS!!!

Why am I getting so worked up, and amounting everything I know about my husband, over his inability to put away a hat.

My husband is so much more than someone “who can’t put away a hat.”

He is literally my prince in shining armor who loves me unconditionally!

  1. One time, I had a super bad tummy ache and he got me medicine and a heating pad, and let me rest in the bed until my tummy was better.
  2. Or, the time he brought home flowers that made our house smell and look amazing.
  3. Or, the time he came home and randomly danced with me in the kitchen (that’s my favorite).

There are a million little things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.

But, if I don’t keep myself in check, then I will eventually only remember those small things that irritate me (that shouldn’t irritate me), and forget all the other small things that make him who he is – the reason I married him.

I also have to remember that I could be a total irritation too. I am not perfect! For instance:

  1. I leave cups all over the house.
  2. I open a can of drink, take a sip, and put it back in the fridge.
  3. I hate cleaning the bath tub (now…he is a saint for taking care of this).
  4. One time, I left a compost bucket outside for 2 months, because I forgot about it, and it smelled like straight butt when it finally got warm. But, Bruce took care of it for me (again, he is the saint in this house!!).

So, you see, we both have things to work on!

I just have to remember that he is more than the little things that irritate me. He is my husband that I have vowed to love and to cherish. I can’t cherish him if I build a wall of irritation over some hats.

I have to talk to him, love him, and continually remember why I choose him before I ever lose focus because of the little things that frustrate me. I also have to remember that I am no where near perfect, and I have things to work on too.

Our marriage is more important to me than a bunch of hats around the house.

Because one day, if something were to ever happen, I would miss picking up each hat every day and taking it upstairs to his side of this closet. ❤

Love is about having continual conversations, and developing deeper bonds with one another by looking past the small things that really don’t matter.

Love,

Jennie Laureen

The small town I left.

Jennie's Snippets

I am from this small town called Henderson, NC. And no, this is not Hendersonville, NC…as so many people have confused us with. I left, not because I hated it, but realized that I was not meant to be confined to a town where my potential had a ceiling.

There is only so far you can reach when the town only holds a few major businesses, and most of them are restaurant chains.

My entire life i’ve been pushed to look beyond what my eyes could see. To close my eyes and imagine where I wanted to be. To dream up the world I wanted to see.

I once had a small town mind. I thought, for sure, I was going to be a woman who worked in a small business, attend a small town church till I died, would soon be married (by 21 years old), and be having a baby at 23. Well…ladies and gentlemen…I am not married, and I am turning 23 this May with an empty womb.

But…God called me to leave – to a different life than what I originally thought up, and it took me awhile to grasp that He wanted me to leave. Because, at first, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay in my little happy bubble so I could buy a house on the same road my parents lived on, raise my kids near them, and be happy. I refused, my entire life, to give into the bigger dreams I saw in my head and hoped God would change his mind and settle with my plan – haha, yeah right.

But, at a very young age, you know when you hear God’s voice calling you to dive deep and follow the command He has for your life. Especially if that command is much larger than you could ever imagine. And, I know when God has pushed me.

Although I lived in this small town for 20 years of my life…I can look back and see where each push would lead me to leave. I was prepared to leave home and go where I am called to go. Have you ever felt that? I know some of you have. Have you been scared to admit  it? I once was.

There are so many people who hate the little town they came from. I once did. But, I don’t believe that any more. Because I cannot forget my roots.

The small town I left built me, grew me, developed me, and pushed me. Without my small town, I would have never had the courage to leave it. It’s always nice to go back and visit because it brings a flood of memories back of where I once was to where I am now.

The idea isn’t to forget my small town, but to remember it. I am not who I am without it.

I am glad God has placed a much larger responsibility on my shoulders than I ever thought possible. My small town made me ready.

Thank you Henderson for all of that.

Jennie Laureen

 

 

 

Photo by Larry Tseng on Unsplash