employee

You were never meant to be wonder woman.

Live

If you are anything like me then you must know the struggle is real when it comes to saying no.  If you are anything like me, then you know you are the most reliable person you know, and so does everyone else. With that great strength comes a heavy responsibility because everyone will ask you to do EVERYTHING. Then, they become accustomed to you always saying yes that they no longer ask you – they tell you.

You always throw all the parties and get together’s, or babysit the kids, or take on the new projects at work and lead/train the new people, and let’s not forget the perfect house maid and, for some of you, the best mommies to exist. I think I forgot to mention the socialite of the all these gatherings, always having a smile on your face, and typically well kept-up?

You could also be the star athlete who everyone looks up to, the president of a club and a straight A student working towards your diploma, 1st degree, master’s degree, or even your doctorate. Degrees are great, by the way, but do you always try to be perfect at it?

The thing I am trying to get through to you is this – you try your hardest to be what everyone believes the “Perfect Woman” should be, but in the process have lost your identity as an individual with flaws. Our social media clogs us with perceptions that we as women should be….

  • A top employee with high marks working towards top management.
  • A perfect mommy who always spends time with her kids.
  • Has their house in well-order with every crumb in its place.
  • Has perfect temperament – never loud or angry!
  • Strong, but not bossy.
  • A Godly woman who reads her bible every day.
  • An athlete, but not too muscly.
  • Beautiful and ladylike while in public.
  • A master of sexual gratification in bed. (Side note – married of course.)
  • The perfect wife who treats her husband as she should with everything he needs.
  • A friend to all who gives the best advice.

And these are only a few to name, and they come from so many outlets spilling over into our lives. What we hear and what we see ultimately shape us into the people we become,  but have we let our senses become desensitized to the marketing of media, and the opinions of others, that we no longer are able to discover our own identity as a woman?

As a woman who was once in your shoes then I must tell you…..say no. You can’t do everything, and you shouldn’t want to. There is no such thing as a perfect woman. If you try then you will lose your identity in this world because flaws shape you into the character that you are.

Mentally? It is not good for you. To become the woman you wish to become then you need to stop listening to the mouths of those around you that tell you who you ought to be, silence the television, and delete social media. At least for a short while. That way you can silence the noise and meditate on your inner soul, focus on the events that develop you and discover who you are for yourself.

You are not perfect. And that’s okay. You don’t have to bow down to the wishes of others and create a version of you that demonstrates perfection. Doing that will prevent you from opening up to your mistakes and imperfections to other women around you who want what is best for you.

You don’t have to have the perfect body, hair, or face. You don’t have to have the most successful career. You don’t have to try and be the best mommy who serves her kid(s) only organic foods. You don’t have to be the perfect wife who does everything for her husband. You don’t have to be the strong friend who allows gives advice.

You don’t have to be ______________________.

You are one person. You can’t do it all. You will drive yourself insane trying to do so. All you can do is be who God created you to be. Keep striving to be a better you, but don’t kill yourself trying to be it all. You can’t. You have your strengths and weaknesses, and I have mine.

Your flaws make you who you are and that’s beautiful because there is only one of you, and only you can walk in your shoes. ❤

Jennie Laureen

 

 

 

 

Photo by Amanda Dalbjörn on Unsplash

Leaders don’t bark; they bite.

Lead

Over the course of my life I have run across many leaders who have taught me, shaped me, and encouraged me to follow in their footsteps. The biggest lesson I have learned is that there is a major difference between being a leader and being a dictator.

We can all name at least one person who wears the “big shoes.” Those who are seen as the boss. But, what we really notice is if they are capable of being a leader.

One thing is certain – assigning and delivering orders isn’t leading your team. It’s a part of the job.

To be a leader you should be a number of things. But those who just bark orders don’t really create engagement on their team. They must really mean what they say and “bite.” Take a hold of their team and guide their foot steps. Here are a few things I consider important when it comes to leading:

Engagement

As a leader, are you taking the time out of your week, or day, to understand and know who is on your team? As people are hired on as your staff what are doing to know them? I can tell you that I am more willing to work with a leader who knows me personally. Work takes up a considerable amount of my day (8 hours or more). Interacting with someone for that long, and not knowing anything about their personal life, tells your staff you don’t care about them and that they are only their to serve you and the company.

Inspiration

Once you get past the fantasy phase of starting a new job – the work can become mundane, repetitive, and tiresome. That happens, and it’s the leader’s job to recognize it. As a leader, you need to connect your staff back to the original reason why they started working for the company. You also need to remind them, time and time again, that their role is significant to the success of the company. Tell them WHY – not just what. Inspire them and rejuvenate their energy!

Motivation

Once an employee gets a rhythm in their job – they can be hesitant to step out of that rhythm, and do more than what is asked of them without you telling them to do so. As a leader, you need to encourage them to push past their safety bubble, and really give everything they have.There shouldn’t be a culture of “fear” to where they cannot express their ideas – no matter where they are on the ladder of leadership. An idea is an idea – and any idea can benefit the company. Obviously, you want the best from your employees, and you want them to give it their all every day. Well – for that to happen you need to motivate your employees. Show them you are motivated to give it your all, and they will follow suit (the majority will at least).

Development

At some point an employee will hit a wall. They have learned all they can for the current job performed, and need more to learn. As a leader, you are responsible to develop and train your employees – especially if you believe they are capable of doing more. You also need to push those who can certainly do more, but don’t want to.

Seeing the potential in your employees is significant as a leader, but that potential will go no where when there is no development. Potential sounds like a great word, but it’s just potential – not action. An employee can stay in the potential stage their entire life and get nothing done. It can be pulling teeth at times, but if you want to see that potential blossom, and become a moving force then you need to provide training for them to hone their skills and use them.

Follow Me

Being a leader requires that you model the companies vision and mission first. Leaders are the “image” of what we hope to have in our employees. If you don’t first be the model to inspire what you hope to see then you will never see it in your employees.

This article can also be reflected back to those in other leadership positions whether be at: school, church, clubs, committees, etc.

Are you truly a leader, or do you bark orders and expect them to get them done?

Jennie Laureen

Photo by Justin Luebke on Unsplash