Seeing The Person Behind Your Perception

Personally, it’s no secret that we all struggle with judging people based on minimal facts, and mostly appearance.

It’s easy for us to put people in our own self-constructed boxes so that we could interpret and understand them, and the world around us, in “black and white.”

It wasn’t until I was an undergraduate student, studying Interpersonal Communication, at Meredith College for me to realize what I was doing (and that was 5 years ago, geez)!!

You know…I grew up a certain way. I knew the world through the eyes of my parents for the first few years of my life, and interpreted the world as I experienced it.

Growing up, as we try to understand the world we live in, we take what people say about others to heart. It’s a “survival method.” We don’t want to instinctively put ourselves in harms way so we listen to others words as truth to protect and ready ourselves for the future.

This is also where the media comes in whether it be social media, television, movies, books, news media, etc. We grow up watching, and reading, content and absorbing what is being presented to us in order to understand the world.

In time, we inherently believe it to be true, and it eventually becomes an instinctive judgment of the people we meet.

New people are pre-judged by what we have learned so far in our life. It’s sad to think that way, but is also helps us understand how far we still have to go in each of our own societies.

Questions we should be asking:

How are all people presented in the content that is consumed by a majority of the public?
What roles are they playing, and how are they interpreted based on our societies standards?
In each of these roles, how are they economically presented?
What is currently unbalanced in the media we consume today? Are there roles that are continuously given to certain sexes, races or identities?

Each of these questions are starter questions we should be asking ourselves as we consume content so we can recognize where our perceptions of the world come from.

We need to know the basis of our perceptions so we can see the person that exists behind our perception.

Understand this….if we are never introduced to new people, or experiences, we end up getting trapped in our own worlds, our own interpretations, and continue to put people in our self-constructed boxes without seeing them for who they truly are.

People are beautiful, and there is always something we can learn from each individual that we meet.

And let me tell you something…I notice myself accidentally making a judgment on someone all the time: someone I have never even met, someone I have never sat down with to hear their story, someone I pass by on the street, someone I see in the store, someone I drive by on the road, etc.

I don’t ever want to be the person who never grows past my own perceptions. I want to understand people. I want to love them for who they are, and everything that makes them, them.

I know who I am, and I would want other people to take the time to get to know me.

What about you? Wouldn’t you feel the same way?

I hope, from now on, you take the time to realize where your perceptions may be rooted, and work past them so that you can see the real person that exists behind them.

Love,

Jennie Laureen

You were never meant to be wonder woman.

Live

If you are anything like me then you must know the struggle is real when it comes to saying no. If you are anything like me, then you know you are the most reliable person you know, and so does everyone else. With that great strength comes a heavy responsibility because everyone will ask you to do EVERYTHING. Then, they become accustomed to you always saying yes that they no longer ask you – they tell you.

You always throw all the parties and get together’s, or babysit the kids, or take on the new projects at work and lead/train the new people, and let’s not forget the perfect house maid and, for some of you, the best mommies to exist. I think I forgot to mention the socialite of the all these gatherings, always having a smile on your face, and typically well kept-up?

You could also be the star athlete who everyone looks up to, the president of a club and a straight A student working towards your diploma, 1st degree, master’s degree, or even your doctorate. Degrees are great, by the way, but do you always try to be perfect at it?

The thing I am trying to get through to you is this – you try your hardest to be what everyone believes the “Perfect Woman” should be, but in the process have lost your identity as an individual with flaws. Our social media clogs us with perceptions that we as women should be….

A top employee with high marks working towards top management.
A perfect mommy who always spends time with her kids.
Has their house in well-order with every crumb in its place.
Has perfect temperament – never loud or angry!
Strong, but not bossy.
A Godly woman who reads her bible every day.
An athlete, but not too muscly.
Beautiful and ladylike while in public.
A master of sexual gratification in bed. (Side note – married of course.)
The perfect wife who treats her husband as she should with everything he needs.
A friend to all who gives the best advice.

And these are only a few to name, and they come from so many outlets spilling over into our lives. What we hear and what we see ultimately shape us into the people we become, but have we let our senses become desensitized to the marketing of media, and the opinions of others, that we no longer are able to discover our own identity as a woman?

As a woman who was once in your shoes then I must tell you…..say no. You can’t do everything, and you shouldn’t want to. There is no such thing as a perfect woman. If you try then you will lose your identity in this world because flaws shape you into the character that you are.

Mentally? It is not good for you. To become the woman you wish to become then you need to stop listening to the mouths of those around you that tell you who you ought to be, silence the television, and delete social media. At least for a short while. That way you can silence the noise and meditate on your inner soul, focus on the events that develop you and discover who you are for yourself.

You are not perfect. And that’s okay. You don’t have to bow down to the wishes of others and create a version of you that demonstrates perfection. Doing that will prevent you from opening up to your mistakes and imperfections to other women around you who want what is best for you.

You don’t have to have the perfect body, hair, or face. You don’t have to have the most successful career. You don’t have to try and be the best mommy who serves her kid(s) only organic foods. You don’t have to be the perfect wife who does everything for her husband. You don’t have to be the strong friend who allows gives advice.

You don’t have to be ______________________.

You are one person. You can’t do it all. You will drive yourself insane trying to do so. All you can do is be who God created you to be. Keep striving to be a better you, but don’t kill yourself trying to be it all. You can’t. You have your strengths and weaknesses, and I have mine.

Your flaws make you who you are and that’s beautiful because there is only one of you, and only you can walk in your shoes. ❤

Jennie Laureen

Photo by Amanda Dalbjörn on Unsplash

I can no longer think small after I left my own country.

Jennie's Snippets

From September 1^st through September 10^th I was able to experience an extraordinary adventure that would forever enlighten my perspective and garnish my soul with unforgettable memories. I am Jennie Robinson, 22 years of age, and I am passionate about giving people the opportunity to listen to my perspective and experience on what I believe to be salvation through Jesus Christ.

At a young age many dreamers envision the opportunity to set flight across the sea – daring to cross the borders of a home far from what we call our own. We dreamers hope to capture the essence of this foreign culture, breathe in its unfamiliarity and give into the unknown with an aspiration to experience a reconstruction on our small perceptions.

I set flight for Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic September 1^st. To define fear settling in my boots would be an understatement to the many firsts that I had the opportunity to experience. I had never flown, I had never been out of the country, I never dealt with foreign currency, and I had never tried teaching salvation to a group of people with a language unfamiliar to mine.

But, most of all, I was able to experience what many individuals feel when coming to the United States (or any country for that matter) as a foreigner – disconnected and fearful, but overall grateful and excited.

Who knew that flying would bring a rush of adrenaline and fear all at once? When you stare up at the sky and see planes hovering thousands of feet above you, you never come to think that the plane is soaring through the sky at 500/600 mph. It always appears as if the plane is floating. At take-off, the plane launches at such incredible speeds that your head is practically thrown back, and all you could do is hold onto your arm rests and pray it doesn’t decide to go back down. But once you are in the air, the awareness of being so far from the land below is sensational. The view is phenomenal and the peace to be so far removed from your worries at home is fully present. You are in the AIR, away from it all, and nothing can trouble you.

When we descended in the Dominican Republic, the difference between being home and being there was strikingly obvious – especially when comparing the development of the country. Once we landed, it became increasingly evident that we were nowhere near home. There were already warning signs posted right outside our exit to avoid drinking the water (stick to bottled water), and to protect ourselves against the zika virus.

We grabbed our bags, and before exiting, sprayed on sunscreen and 100% deet (which smelled like pickles) to prepare for our trip outside. The heat was comfortable, sticky, but comfortable. Then, we soon realized that most places did not have air conditioning, a commodity found almost everywhere in the U.S, is rarely seen as a normal home accessory. We began to miss it shortly after our arrival.

Because our trip took 8 to 12 hours we soon stopped to eat. To put it honestly, the cuisine was far more scrumptious, appetizing, fulfilling and satisfying than any sort of food that America could produce (based on my experience of American cuisine). Soon, I fell in love with the Yuka Root – similar to a potato, but starchier. Then came the pineapple, which was larger and sweeter than the pineapple produced in the U.S. Later came the Tostones (fried plantains), and then the Avocado (3 times larger than the avocados produced in the U.S). The food was certainly different, but oh so delicious.

After a restful first day we began our adventures into the ministry – stopping at schools, stopping at churches, and ministering to hundreds and hundreds of women and children in conferences.

Our ministry was led by Darrell and Bonnie Clowers who are missionaries to the Dominican Republic. They also provided housing while we visited the country. The mission trip was packed full of ministry opportunity, from our 3-day weekend conference at Joseph’s campground, with 13 churches represented, to Monday’s visit to the Clowers’ vision at the 15 acre campground in Mata Mamon in La Victoria where we prayer walked the grounds. Later in the week we visited Rose of Sharon and their district school with Pastor Aundra Sanchas. We then went to girls’ and women’s conferences that evening at Way of Holiness in Azua with Pastor Bolibar.

We also visited several churches including: John 3:16 #5 with Pastor Freddie Checko, John 3:16 #3 with Pastor Socorro and the school there, John 3:16 #2 Divine Fire with Pastor Oridio, and John 3:16 #8 with Pastor Alexander and the school. We later held another girls’ and women’s conferences at Divine Fire #3 with Pastor Mulaun.

One of the pastors characterized our 3-day women’s conference as an “historical event” for the women because it was the first time that these women were able to leave the duties of their home for an extended amount of time to experience spiritual renewal.

Overall, we were able to speak and minister to over 800 women and children, and a few men and boys, while we visited the country.

With our 3 day conference I was able to personally minister to young girls. The love we received was so incredibly welcoming. Every girl would love you as if you were always family. Their hearts were so open for us that it was heart-breaking to leave them.

The little girl’s stories were also impactful to me. Every story I heard dealt with poverty, loss, and sickness, but gratitude to be alive. Many homes that we were able to see were of small buildings made of concrete, barred windows, cheap tile and/or mud floors with tin roofs.

Also, every single home and business was barred with black iron. It was frightening – theft rates were high. Protecting your home meant barring your windows and doors. Even the bank’s security system had soldiers sitting outside with rifles in case a robbery were to happen.

One of the greatest lessons I received from visiting the country was gaining empathy and understanding for individuals in the United States who speak Spanish and cannot speak English.

I thoroughly enjoyed ministering and getting to know the women and children, but the language barrier was disheartening and frustrating. I wish I could speak Spanish fluently so that I could have held a normal conversation with the girls, ask where the nearest restroom was, and order food and essentials with ease. Not knowing the language of the country makes you feel more of a foreigner than you thought you would feel. But that didn’t stop us from trying – our translator, Dariza, was excellent and spoke exceptional English.

Fumbling with our pesos was also a great struggle, but many cashiers were kind enough to assist us and help us sort out our funds while trying to make a purchase. These, however, were cashiers in major stores. If you wanted to go to the market, where average people bargain and sell, then keep your money close. The experience of going to the market was thrilling, but overwhelming.

As soon as you walked into the market, every buyer would bombard you with “would you like to buy, you are so pretty/handsome and you need this, and I’ll take this much for it.” The market people spoke English, because many foreigners visited the market, but I wouldn’t want to go back. Unlike the U.S where you can enjoy your shopping experience, in the Dominican it is more of a hassle – I would rarely choose to shop if I could.

Although the country is vastly different from mine I would indeed love to go back again. I left my home to visit a new world and make an impact on their lives, but instead, a new home was created for me and a piece of my heart resides there.

Everyone should travel – at least once!

PS: There is no such thing as stoplights and stop signs. They are rarely found! If you want to have a heart-attack – then drive down there. It won’t take long.