Motherhood

You can’t forget a mom like mine.

Jennie's Snippets

So, my mom is quite the character. Seriously. You will never meet another woman like her – impossible. The one thing I love about my mom is her knack to make you laugh – even when you don’t want to. 

You see, she has this laugh that she will use to make you laugh. She will tell you “I bet I can make you laugh,” and the first thought that will go through your head is “yeah right.” I know what you’re thinking “she is going to tell me a corny joke which isn’t going to make me laugh.” WRONG! 

This woman will start with a low rolling laugh and as she continues to belt out her tunes, her pitch will climb and it eventually becomes this screech that sounds like a witch waiting to put you in her “boiling trouble.”  She will continue until you laugh, and inevitably, you will! Because it isn’t what you are expecting. Soon, your belly begins to cramp and you forget everything else in the world and replay that laugh for hours on end. 

I love my mom. 

My mom has been through the trenches of hell but has come out with arms of steel and a chest of iron – skin bruised but not burnt. In my mind, she is the image of wonder woman – a strong and courageous character. I look up to her! She has taught me to fight the battles, stay calm in the storm, and remember that today may be hard but tomorrow is a fresh start. She taught me that I can’t control everything in this world – no matter how much I want to – and that I must rely on God for it or the world will swallow me up. 

You see, I also learned this from my Memaw, who I adored with all my heart, and my mom is becoming Memaw every day. BTW – Memaw is my mom’s mom (if you didn’t catch that). It’s crazy to watch my mom become Memaw. I know when I finally have children my kids will have a childhood just as amazing as mine was. 

I recently looked at my mom a few weeks ago and noticed she had let all of her hair grow out – it’s all grey. It’s beautiful! It shocked me at first because she had always dyed her hair blonde! And I literally burst into tears in front of my mom because it was the first time that I realized that my mom is aging. 

As a kid, I never counted her age. She was always in her 30s! She never grew old to me. But now, as an adult, I realize that the years I have with her are numbered. I hate to think of what life will be like without her because she is quite literally my rock. 

I used to suffer from anxiety – often. My anxiety would swallow me up and I thought I was going to die because I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t see tomorrow – I was stuck. It kept me up all night long. The only thing that could comfort me was crawling into bed with my mom. As long as she held me I could go to sleep. I felt safe! There is nothing in the world like it. 

Therefore, I conclude this post in saying that I love you, mom! Every single day. I don’t forget how much I love you. I love having you as my mom. You taught me so much that I hope to teach my kids. And I can’t wait for my kids to meet you!! You are such an inspiration to me and so many others. I am proud to look like you, I am proud to have been given your amazing features, and I am proud to have a character like yours. 

Thank you for loving me all these years. Through every happy and joyful moment and through every pain and disappointment. 

Happy Birthday to a courageous warrior! I love you!! 

Jennie Laureen

 

Photo by Sue Zeng on Unsplash

 

Dear Daughter. You don’t know me, but…

Jennie's Snippets

Dear Daughter,

You don’t know me, but…I think about you often and i’m not even pregnant. I’m not even married! But, I still think of you. The hope of having you, teaching you, and raising you alongside a strong husband who would be your amazing daddy!

I look at the world around me and for every moment I face I always think – I want to teach you this.

Through all my joys, sufferings, and pains I want to express to you how to live, how to be, how to have faith, how to be bold and brave, but most importantly, how to be you!

But – HOW do I teach you?!? I’m always frightened for you, already, because there is SO much that I pray for you to be, to know, and to understand. I already see myself holding you, cradling you, and protecting you, but I don’t want to shield you from what I want you to know.

So here is a list of the many things I think of now while I am 22 – dreaming of having you:

  • You are a WOMAN to be. No matter what the world tells you – you are a beautiful soul. You do not have to expose your flesh to obtain commentary that minimizes the lion within you.  You will be a little girl for a short time, but you aren’t a little girl forever – remember that, because the world will attempt to label you as just a girl for all the years of your life – but you are a woman (a lion).

 

  • You are INTELLIGENT. Your mind has the capacity to become whatever you wish to become. Your brain is made by God, and given to you from God. He made you and molded you. If you wish to learn about the entire world that God has created – then my beautiful child you do just that. Reach far and wide and past the stars! Read – become. If you want to be a CIO, CEO, President of the United States, a Doctor, a Lawyer, or an astronaut – you be it – become it.

 

  • You are LOVE. The world around you may be cruel. You will see it on every corner. But, if you choose to join the others, where does love go? I’ll tell you the story of a man named Jesus – the model of pure love. You are made to love like this. The choice to love rather than to hate. To treat another human being – regardless of their own personal choices – with dignity and love. You must always know to choose your words wisely my darling – words can open up the soul, but can also pierce the heart.

 

  • You are HONEST. No matter how hard it may seem – I know you are honest. Honesty is the first step to wisdom. Your choice will always be between the truth and a lie. Telling a lie may feel right for a short while, but it affects the inner you as a whole. It taints you and will eventually come back and be exposed. It hurts far worse to tell a lie than it does to tell the truth. Truth perseveres, and the truth gives you a level of credibility that nothing else can.

 

  • You are BOLD. God doesn’t want you to live in fear. Of course there are many things to be afraid of, but you can’t let that control you. Fear is a temporary feeling that prevents you from pursuing what God is asking you to step into. Be brave my darling. You may have to hold your breathe to take the step, but that’s okay. Hold your breath, close your eyes, and leap! Experience what God is calling you into. It is far better to look back and remember than to wish you had the choice again and wonder what it could have been.

 

  • You are STRONG. You are not born to be weak. Your body is an incredible creation made to live on this earth. If you take care of it, give it what it needs, and nourish it then your body will propel you through the years of your life. No condition you suffer will last as long as you believe and care for the wellbeing of your body!

 

  • You are COMPASSIONATE – You will be able to see through the eyes of those that surround you. While you live on earth, you will need to understand that your perspective is not the only perspective that exists. In order to know the pain of someone else you will need to step into their shoes – understand where they are coming from. Everyone grows up differently, some more painfully than others. Before you speak – listen first. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason.

 

  • You are a SERVANT – Above everything you do, remember to serve others. We all live on this earth – we should all care for each other. There will be many people who will not do this, but you, my darling, need to know that serving others is a part of who you are because you are love and you are compassion. We strive to be selfless because God calls us to serve. It will open your heart, it will make tears come to your eyes, but it will also show you people. People matter – whether big or small, poor or rich, shy or loud, white or black, blonde or burnette – people matter. Because we are all people and we each deserve to be treated like we are loved far more than we believe we deserve. We out-love!

 

  • You are HARD-WORKING – God has gifted you with a body to use. So, get up and use it. Every day is a new day to reach the goals you have set, to serve like no other, and to love everyone around you! Did you know that Jesus is coming? We have work to do!! We can’t let anyone fall through the cracks. We show people who He is. We also show people who He is by being the best we can be! At work, at school, in clubs – everywhere. We work hard at everything we do! We have the strength and the talent to do so – we will not waste it, and we will not waste our time here on earth!

 

  • You are YOU – I want you to be so many things and more! I aspire to pour into you what I have learned in my years so that you live a life full of healthy and wise choices. But, I can’t make you into something you are not called to be. You see, God has a special calling on your life, and that is a calling you don’t want to miss. This calling is what makes you, YOU! I may want you to grow up and be a million amazing things, but please remind mommy that you must follow what God has called you to do. I can’t take away what God wants you to do, and I don’t want to. No matter what I say or wish for you to do – please promise that you follow my advice, but you listen for the voice of God before mine. His voice will lead you where you are meant to go.

 

  • You are FORGIVEN. No matter the choices you make – I will always love you. There isn’t a thing in this world you could ever do to change my mind. My forgiveness is endless for you! When God asked me to forgive people (70X7) endlessly then I will. There is no exception to you! And I hope you learn to forgive people like that also. It doesn’t mean you allow people to hurt you and trample over you, but you show them grace! People make mistakes. Bitterness from unforgiveness does a cruel thing to the mind and heart of people – don’t bottle that up and allow it to build in you. It will cripple the person you are and are becoming.

I already love you far more than you know. I can’t wait to someday meet the woman you become.

Love,

Your Mommy (someday)

Jennie Laureen

 

 

 

Photo by Johnny McClung on Unsplash